The Thing that saved me during my divorce

Hey friends,

I’ve been thinking about whether to share this.

There was a time I didn’t think I’d survive my divorce.

Not in a dramatic way. I had people around me. I had a roof over my head. I had all the things that should have made it “manageable.”

But none of that mattered because I didn’t trust myself.

I didn’t trust that I could stand on my own. Mind you that I was with my partner for 19.5 years. I didn’t trust that I could handle the weight of what was happening.

The pain was real. The fear was louder.

And then something surprised me.

I could sit with it.

Not fix it. Not push through it. Not distract myself from it.

Just... sit with it. Without collapsing. Without spiraling into the worst-case scenarios my brain kept offering me

like unwanted gifts.

That was the beginning of something.

What meditation actually did for me

I want to be clear: meditation didn’t make the pain disappear. It didn’t speed up the healing or give me clarity about what to do next.

What it gave me was the clarity and strenght to stay present in the here and now.

A few minutes each day where I wasn’t running from the feelings or drowning in them. Just... existing alongside them.

It sounds small. It wasn’t.

When everything external felt unfamiliar - my home, my identity, my future - I needed something internal that felt steady. Meditation became that.

Not a fix. A floor.

If life feels unrecognizable right now

Maybe you’re going through something that’s reshaping everything. A breakup. A loss. A transition you didn’t choose.

You don’t need all the answers. You really don’t.

You just need one steady moment. One breath where you’re not in yesterday’s regret or tomorrow’s panic. Just here.

Today is enough.

Try this

Set a timer for 3 or 5 minutes. Sit somewhere quiet. Inhale and count every exhale. When you get to 10, start over. If you lose your place, it’s ok, just start back at one.

When your mind starts solving problems or replaying conversations, notice it. Then come back to the breath.

That’s it. That’s the whole practice.

You’re not trying to feel peaceful. You’re just practicing being present with whatever’s there.

That skill? It’s the one that carries you through the hard stuff.

Much like excercise, your ability to stay present become stronger each day. Soon you’ll notice that things that bother you simply don’t anymore and more importantly that spending time in the past gets you nowhere.

I’d love to hear from you. Hit reply and tell me: what got you through something difficult? Not advice - just your experience. Sometimes knowing someone else made it through is the thing that helps most.

Talk soon,

Alex