Most people have been working toward the wrong goal.

Not because they're not trying. Because the goal itself is off. Feeling better isn't the target. Getting better at feeling is.

The Myth of Feeling Less

For a long time I thought the goal of any personal growth work was to feel less. Less anxiety. Less grief. Less of the low-grade dread that can sit underneath a productive day.

I was good at it. I had routines. I had work. I had the ability to stay busy enough that the difficult feelings stayed at a manageable distance.

What I was building wasn't resilience. It was avoidance with good aesthetics.